I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
