Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
