So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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