Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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