I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
