all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
