I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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