I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
