Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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