If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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