i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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