Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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