shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
