chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
