i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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