I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
