What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
