two words...techno handjob
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
