This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
