Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
