then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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