Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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