Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
