lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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