She's JV to your varsity
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
