Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
