Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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