3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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