Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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