he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
