the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
