her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He did a backflip because drugs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
