She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
