I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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