I seem to have left my pride at pride
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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