Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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