So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
