Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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