sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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