So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
