You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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