College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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