went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
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