Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
