why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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