Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
