im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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