This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
