i would punch a child for taco bell
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
