Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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