What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
